Lost in Transition: What to Do in Between

A Doorway

There are moments in life when a path goes silent. You’re between goals, jobs, and identities. You’ve outgrown something, but the next version of you hasn’t revealed itself yet. This is the in-between.

Transitions can trigger what, in the clinical world, is known as existential distress. This shows up as aimlessness, numbness, low motivation, or restlessness. We can start to lose our sense of agency, and with it, our connection to hope.

As someone who’s spent years supporting others through life transitions, I’ve learned that this “lost” feeling is often part of something deeper. The blank space isn’t a void, it’s a doorway. It just doesn’t always feel like one.

After losing my mother, the future I had once felt so connected to, relocating, rebuilding, and creating suddenly dimmed.

There was another moment in time when I experienced this same halt: after years of trying and multiple failed treatment attempts, my dreams of becoming a mother did not actualize. It was as if everything I had been working toward had stalled, and I didn’t know how to start again. That’s when I remembered a phrase someone once told me:

Polish here — shine there.

That saying profoundly expresses that when you’re unsure of your next big step, you just need to do something. Take care of a corner of your life. Do a small thing—clean your desk, organize a drawer, go to the gym, write a paragraph. Not because it’s directly tied to your end goal, but because action creates momentum. It’s neuroscience and physics at work.

The Psychology + Physics of Forward Motion

Clinically, we know that during times of stress, the nervous system can go into freeze mode—a response to overwhelm, grief, or ambiguity. This is common in depression, grief, and burnout. Your body is trying to protect you from the unknown.

Behavioral activation, a therapeutic tool I use often with clients, helps reignite motivation by encouraging small, achievable actions. This is because, just like Newton’s First Law of Motion teaches: An object at rest stays at rest. An object in motion stays in motion.

So no, organizing your closet might not feel life-changing.

But when you polish here, you shine there.

You gain momentum elsewhere.

The Midlife Crisis Pivot

Midlife marks a natural developmental shift through the doorway between who we were and who we’re becoming. In clinical terms, it often signals the start of integrating the parts of ourselves we’ve neglected, outgrown, or forgotten.  It’s common to experience a sense of restlessness, grief over missed opportunities, or a deep questioning of identity, purpose, and connection.

This phase can bring emotional disorientation: careers may stall, relationships shift, and long-held roles no longer feel fulfilling. There’s often a quiet longing for meaning, freedom, and authenticity.  While midlife can feel destabilizing, it’s also an invitation to reorient and consciously choose how the next chapter unfolds. It’s an invitation to pivot. An invitation to recreate an outdated vision. 

Micro-Movements Create Macro-Change

Start small. Because, while clarity may not come all at once, motion will awaken your vision.

Try These Strategies:

1. Polish here — shine there

Take any action. You don’t need to wait for motivation. Fold the laundry, send an email, take a walk. These small steps remind your brain that you’re capable.

2. Journal your endings

Transitions often carry invisible grief. You’re letting go of old identities, dreams, and even relationships. Writing them down helps integrate the loss so you can move forward lighter.

3. Rebuild structure

When life is unpredictable, grounding rituals help. Morning pages, walks, workouts, or recovery meetings create rhythm when your world feels out of sync.

4. Let it be messy

Healing isn’t linear. Dreams don’t unfold on command. Paths twist, stall, and begin again. You’re not lost—you’re evolving.

Final Thoughts

If you’re in the doorway between relationships, jobs, cities, or versions of yourself, life might feel like it’s dragging or has stopped still. You're not lost in transition.

This is a sacred pause.

A reset.

A chance to reconnect.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is anything. Clarity is already on its way.

Journaling Prompt:

What have I outgrown, and what am I afraid to let go of?